OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW!

“The library closed 15 minutes ago!” Yelled the young librarian. “I have a New Year’s Eve party to get to and just because I work at the largest library in town doesn’t mean I’m a nerd. I can’t believe I’m going to be late!” She bickered to herself.

I followed her down the now dark and echo-filled hall toward the downstairs, ‘employees’ only exit’. My car was parked on the opposite side of Building D and apparently this was Lot B. It’s not that I don’t want to celebrate the year’s retreat; truth is I have no one to spend it with. I moved to another state to attend school and my family is more than 500 miles away. So where am I 20 minutes to the countdown? At the only quite place I found to be open this late, the downtown library.

I’m a shy, quite suburb girl, in a large crowd-filled city. I live scared to death of the unexpected ‘anything can be lurking around’ life one lives in the Big Apple state.

“You see that green metal door Repunzel? That’ll lead you outside.”

I would have thanked her if she’d given me the chance, but her car door slammed faster than the fluttering of insects’ wings. I walked steadily toward the exit and as I pushed the door open I was met by a blistering wind, the late night was accompanied by a vapid motion of falling snow. I blinked my eyes through the freezing gusts then headed toward the spot where my car was parked.

The wind sang its heavy tunes through my long hair, and I instantly wished I had brought my hooded sweatshirt to go under my hood-less wool made coat. I stopped and placed my books on the floor then lifted the collar all the way around my neck then buttoned it to the top. That’s when I spotted it. I know what you are thinking…I’m seeing things. I mean sure with my usual jumpy self but I swear I saw something slowly and steadily creeping up behind me. Like a shadow with an invisible owner shifting between post-lit areas and shady ones. I bent down to pick up my books then turned to my side and peeked through my locks. It moved slowly to a spot where it would be well hidden. But it had been there! I had seen something, I was sure!

I continued to walk, focusing my peripheral vision, forcing my attention to whatever or whoever crept back yonder. I heard a soft rattling sound followed by a light tumble with a swish, swashing. My heart raced, and my pulse quickened. I held my books tighter until I felt the edge piercing through my coat. The light stab cleared my frightened thoughts enough for the adrenaline to help me twist my body around in a sudden jolt. A soft yelp escaped my throat. It wasn’t until I witnessed what the soft rattling was; a dried up cackling leaf was being pushed by the wind alongside the pavement. I chuckled softly then exhaled my fears. Okay, I needed to relax!

But sure enough denial slowly pried itself back below my spine then trickled its way up to my neck. It seemed that it triggered each micro-sized follicle to stand on its end as I perched my neck up and pushed my hair back behind my ears to hear more clearly. As I did this I saw something skidder and the absolution of fear seized me once more. My car was now visible and all I had to do was run a few 16 steps then click the door unlocked. I could barge inside for its comforting safety.

Yet my inability to move was beyond my control and I stood frozen like a statue, or a frozen body being grasped down by gravities controlling hold.

I turned around and finally met the primitive shadow face to face. His face appeared to be squished, deep wrinkle lines slashed across his face shamelessly. The old, old, old man looked fragile, he held his weigh with the help of his cane. His clothes seemed ancient and filthy; he wore dark blood colored pants with a urine colored coat. Filtered by the wrath of his elderly age, his shoulders slouched forward. The old man smiled at me, it was an ugly, empty, toothless smile.

He stomped his cane twice and as if by command the wind around him picked up and snow began to whirl, curling him up in what seemed like a life size cocoon. I watched closely and was about to get closer to offer my help when the snow began to glow. It got brighter, and it shimmered, then with a sudden POOF the man was gone!

Gone I tell you! And in his place was a small child. He looked excited and mirthful. His pants were apple red and his coat beamed of yellow, like the sun. Instead of a cane, the boy held a bat. He stomped it twice against the ground, then smiled gleefully at me.

How bizarre! The old man had turned into a child!

I took two steps closer then the boy lifted his hand up signaling me to stop.

“Don’t live in fear this year. Stop turning your head expecting the worse out of a situation, celebrate life!” He said, and then he ran off.

I stood there motion-less, by choice this time, because I was unsuccessfully trying to convince myself that what I saw was not real. I was tired that’s all. Suddenly an explosion of fireworks lighted the sky. It was a new year and somehow I felt a rush of peace seep through me. I was relaxed and soothed by the bright jellyfish-like twinkles above.

The boy was right. One day I’m going to give myself a heart attack with all the nonsense worrying I do. So this coming year it will be in with the new and out with the old!

THOUGHTS

People; we as a human race, seem to write more when we're depressed, alone, sick of life, sick in body, or struck down. Do we ever stare up at the endless sky and feel as your spirits slowly lift? Miraculous how a small word can mean so much. I venture to soar, to see the most exquisite corners of the world and awe upon them. But for now I'll explore the surroundings in the limits I can expose myslef to. I love all that is pure; like rain, grass, animals: nature. If I can foucs my attention on all this and all else that brings a smile to my face, if I foucs and trust in God, than I can survive. I can slowly pick myself up and walk away. I can be strong enough to be able to look back and not cry, to succeed, to strive, and to love. I want to thank any who has truly loved, respected, and helped me see this truth. People that have held my hand, people like my soulmate Consuelo. And small people that don't yet know the capability that one look offers, people like Chanel. Or people that have unknowingly and constantly have held me together, people like Karla. Because of this and more I go on. Because of them I love me.

So two days ago was Teaser Monday and I didn't publish any teaser... But it can be Teaser Wednesday right? I talked it over with my partner and she doesn't really agree I should blog it out...But I sort of really want to. Plus, I promised... So here it is, with my heart on a thread: as promised... The first paragraph to one of my favorite chapters in the story I am writing....





Chapter 7 the Iron Mountain



A steamy breeze brushed up against Dan’s right cheek and her eyes searched through the thick cloud of smoke that concealed everything. She squinted her eyes and coughed her way through the thick and gray space between her and the beautiful cries of a creature she yet did not recognize. She walked closer to the flames that burned deep within ashes in the ground. As she focused her confused eyes on the earth the cries got louder and ever more beautiful, the siren like call beckoned her to kneel so she could see clearer.

Dan knelt down beside the dirt and stared deep into the black and silvery, gray ashes then froze, the fiery breeze made her eyes teary and her breathing heavy. With every breath she took, she could feel how the smoke filled her lungs and made her weak, but she could not leave with out knowing where the elegant howl came from.

The ashes began to move inward revealing the most beautifully, hypnotizing creature she had ever laid eyes on. Red feathers like the flames that burned at its side emerged out of the ground and stared at her with mesmerizing eyes which were surrounded by a patch of black fur. The bird had a long neck that extended over his graceful and stretched out body, every feather was like satin and it shined against the blaze. The bird bowed at her then stretched out his feathers and gracefully bounced off the ground before it disappeared in the night sky.

She looked up and searched desperately but the night sky revealed nothing but an empty blackness along with its fellow shining stars. She felt empty and alone, she looked down toward the ashes and softly said out loud…


“But it was dead, I killed him and it was dead.”

It didn’t make any sense to her, she placed her hand over her heart and felt how it drummed inside, begging to see the bird once more, she did not mean to harm it and was happy it had survived, but how?...

Teaser Monday

If you read some of my stuff below you will know that I am a paranoid character. Yet I struggle every day to seep through the delusional thoughts and since I have no followers I am desperate! LoL...I have decided to post a small, short paragraph belonging to one of my favorite chapters in the story I am writing. YES! I know, I know....who convinced me?

Well the simple fact that I am a Google freak and I somehow feel it will help to let some very small, tiny, micro portion of it out. I HATE to boast, yet I feel compelled to share that many of my family members, including some friends, believe that I am an excellent writer. Unfortunately I cannot find to call myself a writer unless I my work gets published AND that people both enjoy and like it. (different things)

Some of the things I have NOT found Googling is that of a true, honest agent. Who knows? Perhaps this can help...DARE TO DREAM!

LINKS ON CITY COVERING DOME read below for more info

Eden Project
Click the "Eden Project" link for more info on DOMES

Apex Photo Agency
Click "Apex Photo Agency" for DOME photos

Getty Images
Click "Getty Images" to see HOW STUFF WORKS with a direct photo on weather issues and connection to the DOME idea/project in Houston

CITY COVERING DOME-true story

Environmental Project Gone Extreme
The planet has always had its ups and downs regarding climate change and damages done by ‘mother nature’ herself; there have been cities torn apart by hurricanes, tsunamis, and tornados. Scientists, biologists and engineers have been working together for years trying to come up with ways to shield us from these types of disasters. One of the most popular and thought out to be more science fiction than realistic is the idea of a dome; not just any dome, a dome that covers an entire city. In this particular and sensitive case the dome would have to be built with resistant material strong enough to shield the damages that bring down buildings, homes and businesses.
Domes are thought to be the best idea by some because they center their focus on their logical explanation; Hurricane Ike’s damages were more than $10 billion dollars, and we do not know when this can happen again. Therefore the main argument that holds up the construction of a dome over a city is the fact that the cost will not be greater than the total damage costs it would take to constantly re-build a city after it is destroyed. In a large city where the weather is extreme like Houston’s heat, the electrical costs are extremely high. The city suffers from 90 degree weather on nearly 100 days each year, the residents run their air conditioners so often that more electricity is used in Houston than in Los Angeles.
By implementing a dome over Houston it would protect the city from critical weather and the unpredictable scorching heat. There would be vents at the highest point of the dome that could be opened and closed to regulate temperature, and massive doors that allow entrance could be closed to protect the city from hurricanes and other inclement weather; the dome would serve as a refuge for its occupants.
The idea of a dome has been attempted before in different scenarios. The Eden Project is an example of a dome that covers a large area. The accomplished, giant, multi-domed greenhouse was built in March of 2001 in Cornwall, England and it has become a popular tourist site that attracts thousands of visitors every day. The Eden Project was built along the side of a deep pit and it consists of three biomes designed to represent three distinct climates found around the world; the Humid Tropics Biome, Warm Temperate Biome, and the Roofless Biome. Because the Eden Project was such a success it attracts the idea of a dome over a large area and intrigues people all over the world that would like to cover another patch of land to protect it, or maintain it.
In order for the dome to work properly the teams of engineers have come up with a few techniques; they have considered the construction of the dome, the materials used to build it, an entrance to the city, and vents that will maintain an adequate temperature of 70 degrees no matter the climate outside the dome. If Houston’s dome is built, it is estimated to be the biggest structure with the largest roof in the world; the surface area will stretch over 21 million square feet. More than 369,000 narrow steel bars form the frame, and almost 75,000 of them could fail before the dome becomes unstable. Since the size and height of the dome is so massive, engineers are planning on using heavy-lift helicopters and a new type of helium-filled dirigible (sort of like a blimp) to move pre-assembled pieces to the top of the high dome. Instead of using glass, they are using a strong and lightweight plastic called ethylene tetrafluoroethylene (ETFE); this triple-layered surface weighs just 1 percent as much as glass but won’t shatter and it can easily be repaired, if it happens to fall it will simply drift down like a feather without hurting anyone. Panels will be placed at the very top of the dome, they will be opened to provide ventilation and to help regulate the temperature.
Some argue that other cities such as Galveston would benefit more of the dome since it is more susceptible to hurricane damage. Contradictors have also found some loop holes in the plan such as the fact that a dome does not address the issues of pollution caused by the petrochemical and oil refining facilities that surround the city of Houston. The cost is also another concern, in theory it could cost $140 billion or $250,000 per resident to build a dome. Some people do not necessarily get worried about the cost, or what the dome will do for the city; more than anything some feel it will be a sort of claustrophobic experience to live within a dome. People that support the idea argue that you will not even know the dome is there since it is more like being surrounded by a screen; a very powerful screen.
The concept of a dome over a city like Houston is very impressive yet it has failed to convince all. The outcome of it is unknown and people wonder if it is the best idea all together; if it will even work. Considering all the negative input from people that do not agree with this idea, some scientists think it is the only way to save Houston and that this idea is just the beginning. Large cities with uncontrollable and at times outrageous weather will soon be added to the list; cities like Buffalo, Minneapolis, New York and Chicago will be considered to be placed within a dome.
The dome idea is just one of many projects thought out to improve the planet’s current state. Whether a dome will provide adequate shelter from the outside climate is still unknown although scientists and engineers continue to work hard to prove that it is the only way to save cities that are in danger of destruction. There are both supporters and non-supporters for this idea but both parties are equally anxious, awaiting the outcome of the Houston Dome Project. There is no telling what can be executed next if this project succeeds and even though it seems like a science fiction theory it is exciting for all to know that technology continues to take the planet further.

My baby niece, Chanel, is excellent! She turned 3 months on the 12th of Dec. This coming holiday will be her very first CHRISTMAS! Then of course, comes the New Year. Happy Holidays everyone! Hope everyone is well and that you enjoy these past and coming holidays with the ones you love =)

The Reaper's Assistant

The Reaper’s Assistant
Support for the participation of physicians in the suicides of terminally ill patients is increasing, and the actual effects on policies changing with regard to physician assisted suicide must be considered. Physician assisted suicide, or PAS, is when a physician provides the means for death, usually through a prescription; meaning that the patient, not the physician, will ultimately kill themselves. If PAS is legalized, physicians will need to gain expertise in understanding patients’ motivations for requesting PAS by assessing mental status, diagnosing and treating depression, maximizing sedative interventions, and evaluating the external pressures on the patient. The reasons against PAS include sanctity of life, negative impact on professional integrity, and potential abuse; PAS should not be tolerated within our society and it should be banned in all states.
Since PAS refers to the physician providing the means for death; the patient and not the physician will ultimately administer the lethal medication, it stands apart from the definition of euthanasia. Euthanasia generally means that the physician would act directly, for instance by giving a lethal injection to end the patient’s life. Some other practices that should be distinguished from PAS are terminal sedation, withholding or withdrawing life sustaining treatments, and pain medications that may speed up death.
PAS contradicts the primary and traditional duty of a physician which is to preserve life. If PAS were legal many ill patients would most likely select it rather than chose a complex and expensive care option. The sanctity of human life is violated when a physician is permitted to provide the means for a patient to kill them self. According to many religious and traditional beliefs, the act of taking another’s life is wrong; PAS is an active way of killing a person and it contradicts these values. Not only is PAS wrong in a religious manner but it is also an unnatural and unhealthy description of survival itself; a physician should help to maintain or improve life, not death. By physicians acting as a tour guide toward death he/she is implying the complete opposite of their primary job description which is to preserve life.
The professional integrity of a physician will not be maintained if PAS were to be legalized. Medicine’s ethical traditions strongly oppose the destruction of life and also major professional organizations such as the American Medical Association (AMA) and American Geriatrics Society (AGS), oppose assisted suicide. If PAS were to be made legal and there were to be a mistake or uncertainty with a diagnosis or prognosis then physician would be liable; patients would have been misdiagnosed and killed due to an error. In order to avoid these unnecessary mistakes and to preserve physician’s integrity, it is important that PAS is not made legal and available to people.
There are some people who believe PAS should be legalized; they think that people should have the right to choose whether and when they want to die. Supporters argue that a patient should not be forced to continue living when there is no hope for recovery and they are experiencing intense pain; by implementing a law that allows PAS, it would reduce the pain of the patient and of their families. I think that by implementing such a law, it would be an open window for everyone who wants a “way out”. If a law that allows PAS to be freely administered to patients who “qualify” then the potential abuse of PAS would rise. People that lack access to effective care and support may choose to select the path of assisted suicide although an alternative option may exist. Families and patients may give in to death easily even though there is still a possibility toward recovery. In addition, insurance companies would most likely pressure and support doctors to encourage assisted suicide for certain cases to minimize costs. A doctor may also abuse PAS if legalized; he or she may advise a patient to consider it because they believe that the resources that would be spent on this patient could be better spent otherwise.
The US Supreme Court has ruled that there is no constitutional right to assisted suicide, and made a legal distinction between refusal of treatment and PAS. However, the Court also left the decision of whether to legalize PAS up to each individual state. In order for people to not fall into the pressure of selecting his or her death instead of fighting to stay alive, PAS should not be made legal; all states should keep PAS illegal.
PAS will ultimately persuade treatment refusal in many patients, there are risks of potential abuse, the physicians’ professional integrity will be at stake, and life itself should be protected. The arguments against PAS are substantial, and if it were to become part of standard medical practice in the United States the physician-patient relationship would fall apart. The meaning of health care would completely need re-wiring if PAS were to be implemented. PAS should not be made legal because it violates many values. The potential abuse of assisted suicide could force many patients to select death, when they lack a complete perspective of their outcome or they could possibly be making their decision based on false information.

I'm happy to announce that I have recovered most of my story and now save a hard copy on my PC besides the original and final draft on my USB. The idiot (me) now has a plan! I had to re-write from scratch and what i remember of chaps 8 and 9...i am happy to say that i am almost done with that =D (big grin)

because of my "moment of idiotness" it totally slipped my mind to proudly announce the arrival of my neice Bianca Chanel!

She was born healthy and beautifully on September 12, 2009. Weighing at 6lbs and 15oz, she was 20in long. Shame on me for not posting it earlier...

She has gotten so big and even more beautiful! I adore her more than life already! Congrats to my dear sister Karla for her hard work. Also to the new daddy Alfonso.

My little niece is going to be a spoiled one she is!

Love,
Blue Sapphire
xoxoxo

Lost not Found

Yesterday i was out in the streets all day running some errands. I washed my car, purchased some movie tickets for 'New Moon' early, I did some groceries and passed through my college library. All to realize around 6:45pm that amidst all this I lost my USB cord with my story saved on there. I will not shy in saying that I cried for about an hour, and i woke up crying and as I try to recollect the last 2 chapters (chapters 8 and 9) my eyes get all teary and i can't seem to shake it off. Luckily I had chapters 1-7 saved on my PC but chapter 8 alone was like 12 pages (aprox) and i had already written like 4 pages to chap 9. Total of about 16 pages. I went back to the place i ate and it wasn't there, the car wash was closed so i couldn't check there. I feel so lost. Like a piece of me was ripped right out of my heart. I'm sitting here in front of my computer forcing myself not to weep and just try to squeeze what i can remember. I just finished writing it like 2 days ago so its still fresh but that isn't the least of my worries. It might sound silly but i am afraid someone will find it and somehow "distribute" it. I have never published anything and I am so afraid that will happen. I have worked on that story for about a year. I can't believe i let myself lose it. I keep trying to remember when i last saw it but my mind keeps playing tricks on me. I see it this way. If it ever does get somehow published with out my name as the author, i hope this blog serves as proof that I wrote it. And if it ever does happen I hope the bastards have nasty nightmares of guilt for the rest of their existance. I have worked so damn hard on it! the other day i spent my entire morning and most the the afternoon editing it and writing chapters 8 and 9. I was getting it ready to take to my high school english teacher. I can't express enough how upset I am that i have lost my USB. and no, i did not think to save it somewhere else. Like i said, i am lucky that chap 1-7 were somehow retrieved. For the record: I named chap 8-The Sanvers, and Chap 9-Dear Diary. I just pray that if someone did find it that they just deleted whatever they found and decided to use the USB for their personal usage.

Feeling very blue,
Sapphire Blue
for the record my real name is: Xochitl Garcia

Update on the new arrival

Hey =) my sister's baby should be comin any day now. She is officially due tomorrow the 9th. I am so anxious to meet that little baby girl (or boy: Doc says it’s a girl, but you never know) I have my camera ready and charged so I can take many pictures of the new baby. Very exciting moment =)

Torture

‘Tȯr-chər’
The ongoing debate of torture is one that has survived through out the years; it dates back possibly to the pre-historic times. Evidence of torture in our history is elaborate in the way that it existed even in those times when new and brilliant inventions were industrialized, it existed in periods when the most religious moments took place, as it exist still today. Such an inescapable subject as torture should be examined in broad perspectives so it can be better understood. Torture’s is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as the infliction of intense pain as from burning, crushing, or wounding to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure. The Convention Against Torture defines it as the intentional infliction of severe physical or mental pain or suffering and it requires states to criminalize torture.
Two very distinct essays that will help me better explain this topic is, “Inhuman Behavior,” which was written by Major General Kermit D. Johnson, the other is called, “A Case for Torture,” written by Mirko Bagaric. Kermit D. Johnson is a decorated Army officer who has served as Chaplain in the Washington Office of The Presbyterian Church. Mirko Bagaric is head of Deakin University Law School as well as a professor of the law, he also has written numerous of books. They both discuss the same issue with opposite views all the while standing by it so fiercely that they describe their points of view very clearly and precise.
In “Inhuman Behavior,” Johnson says, “torture is a form of terrorism,” obviously stating his point of view from the gecko regarding torture. Being that his career implies working with a church, his chaplain positions seems to influence in his decisions, “I would say that if war causes us to suppress our deepest religious, ethical and moral convictions, then we have indeed caved in to a "higher religion" called war”. Johnson considers torture’s only purpose is to “terrify prisoners so they will yield information,” he also states that when torture is encouraged “two war crimes are committed,” against the torturer and the tortured. According to Johnson, the individuals’ conscience will forever carry the burden of shame, guilt, mental torment and self-hatred. Johnson spots areas of concern in the amendment that prohibits torture, offered by Senator John McCain. The definition of torture has been reinterpreted by the Justice Department into physical pain amounting to torture that must be the same in intensity to the pain associated with severe substantial injury such as organ failure, impairment of bodily function, or death. In his essay Johnson also states that “the public has been dragged through a labyrinth of denials, retractions, redefinitions and tortured arguments, all designed to justify and rationalize lowered moral standards in the treatment of prisoners, not to strengthen and defend high ethical standards.”
In “A Case for Torture” Mirko Bagaric talks about just that; a scenario in which torture is the only logical reasoning to a situation needing strict dealings, “torture is permissible where the evidence suggests that this is the only means, due to the immediacy of the situation...” he goes on by giving a couple of examples in a hostage setting and saying that if one was given the option of choosing to inflict harm on a “wrongdoer” in order to save the life of an innocent person that it would be immoral to select the life of the “wrongdoer”. Bagaric questions “How can it be wrong to violate an even less important right (the right to physical integrity) by torturing the aggressor in order to save a life…” then he states that “if you start allowing torture in a limited context, the situations in which it will be used will increase.” He believes that in relatively limited situations, torture will persuade communities to think cautiously about ethical decisions. Basically Mirko Bagaric thinks that torture should be acceptable and clearly states that if lives are lost based on the fact that it was not decided to take action of torture then it is “code for moral indifference”.
On contrast to Bagaric’s beliefs, Johnson does not think that torture is the answer in any type of situation. Bagaric uses scenarios in which he thinks torture is the obsolete key in saving an innocent life while Johnson believes that both parties (torturer and the tortured) are victims. Johnson defends the rights of both; he states that “when ever we torture or mistreat prisoners, we are capitulating morally to the enemy -- in fact, adopting the terrorist ethic that the end justifies the means.” He believes that the U.S. should set an example instead of prevailing in the means of torture. Bagaric’s essay states the opposite; he thinks it is unethical, immoral, and completely wrong to even consider choosing sides. According to Bagaric, in a case where one must pick, the only choice should be the innocent and if torture is the option to save a life then it should not be questioned.
Both essays rely on examples that lean toward political leverage. In “A Case for Torture,” Bagaric includes circumstances with criminal affairs, and the choice must be made between the guiltless and the illicit. His examples include decisions that must be made by the police in a case of a hostage situation. Johnson focuses his examples on the officers, terrorists, interrogators and highlights the amendment offered by Senator McCain. In order to backup their points of view they dug deep in what they were well-informed. For Bagaric it was law enforcement, and for Johnson it was his profession. At the end of his essay Bagaric hopes that the debate on torture will “prompt us to correct some of these fundamental failings.” Johnson ends his with a statement Captain Ian Fishback made in a letter to Senator McCain, “Some argue that since our actions are not as horrifying as al-Qaeda’s we should not be concerned. When did al-Qaeda become any type of standard by which we measure the morality of the United States?” If Johnson was not clear to which side he stood on regarding the strong debate of torture, this would have amplified it greatly.

The Source

My Happiness’ Source

Many things influence my happiness. One of the three things is my beloved partner second, my small unit like family and third but not least (actually first) is my faith in God.

My partner and I have been together for almost 9 years (actually this month on the 28th will be our 9 year anniversary!). She knows who I am, who I want to be and who I am not, very important things. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. I love her, trust her, respect her, and appreciate her unconditionally. She is my P.I.C. =)

My beloved small family includes my caring mother and my protective sister (she is expecting a baby girl… 9/9/09 is the due date!) These two ladies mean the world to me. If I was amidst the worst, I can count on them and know that they will find a way to save me ASAP. I love them with every cell in my body and I don’t know where I would be with out them. If I were to lose them I would be exactly that…LOST.

And since this isn’t in order I have saved the very best inspiration for last show and tell. Yes God. I know that in the century we live in there are so many different views and religions and beliefs. But I only have one and He is God. I am not part of any particular group of religion. I grew up catholic but as a teenager I made the choice to step out of the Catholic views. I have always and will always believe in Him and I know he is with me everywhere. He guides me, I make the choices in my life therefore I do not blame Him for any of my faults or mistakes.

With saying this I felt I needed to add to my blog what inspires me…

I am desperately and smiley looking forward to my future niece. My sister isn’t sure what she is going to name her…although she does have a few choices lying around. Her significant other and she have decided to mutually agree on the name selection so it is a working progress. As we all know how the opposite sexes disagree in virtually everything. I wish them best of luck and I look forward to meeting her so badly… kisses her way!!! Love you sis and future niece… I will spoil you rotten and yell at you when you’re a teenager and making all the worst choices…. =o)

Right so as you might have guessed by looking over my blog is that I am indeed a Twilight fanatic. I read ALL the books and I am a major fan. I am totaly psyched to know that Dakota Fanning will portray the role of Jane in the upcoming sequel of Twilight, New Moon. So here is a poster view of her... Loving it!!! eeek can hardly wait!

my thoughts today...

So today I’m off work and I want to catch up on some writing. I don’t want to be selfish but I’m not ready to publicly display parts of my manuscript yet… Honestly I’m afraid that someone can “steal” it… do I make sense??

I signed up for this blog with the idea to let others know what the deal is with my writing project… but every time I find myself about to post/blog about it I end up ‘backspacing’ the words and replacing it with something else… Much of this has to do with the fact that I’ve heard so much of writing getting disbursed onto the internet and then someone steals the idea or writing or words or title. Whatever but the deal is that I freak out every time I decide to write about it on this blog or anywhere that people can officially see it.

This is not only my pet project, I have been working on this story for about a year. It’s a slow working progress since I hardly have time to write and I feel like its “my baby”…and you just don’t promote your baby with out a care in the world right?

Well hopefully I can build up the courage or something. Ill tell you what, I’ll keep you updated on any thing that goes down. I’ll try to write an unofficial description of some sort that won’t compromise it, and since the point is that I want to publish it one day I will keep you updated with that too.

Here’s the deal, I had this cool teacher back in high school (sophomore year) for a reading/writing class. She was tough and accepted no bull. As a teacher she let me know that I was one of her top students and that my writing was awesome. (I hate to brag so this is the short version…) since I am indeed a very lazy person I found out that I was going to have her again during senior year for a creative writing class and like a dumb ass I changed the class because in having her as a teacher again i knew i would get pushed to do my best constantly! Can you believe that? I fall back on the fact that teenagers are stupid and therefore make stupid judgment calls; as I did at the time!

Well, my plan is that when the school season starts again I will go to the high school (gosh hopefully she still teaches there!) and I will beg her to look over my manuscript. I remember that one of her co-workers, another very awesome English teacher, helped me a lot during my horrible high school days and I received a scholarship because of his determined help. I’m hoping they can somehow guide me through the publishing method and help me review and fixer-upper my story. Of course I will apologize to my x-teacher first for being such a dumb ass and then tell her how much it would mean to me if she accepted.

As you can see, I go a little overboard when it comes to who sees or who doesn’t see (well read, actually) my manuscript in the making. But I promise to give an all time exclusive sneak peak no matter the size here on my blog.

Thanks all for reading, I can get carried away, mind you, this was only supposed to be a brief hello and what not, but I go on and on and on. =D

Oh and if anyone has any feed back on my blog or the publishing or whatever, please by all means share, share, share! I would love to know how I can get more people involved into my blog… yes I can be quite dull but I would love to have people read my stuff. Oh boy here I go again, didn’t I say bye for now already? See what I mean about going on and on? =)

Ok I promise, one last note. I’m horrible with computers and uploading and stuff. But I really want to include some awesome pics of stuff that I love and that inspire me. I will try… :oP

Love Always,
Sapphire Blue ;)

Here is one of my all time favorite love poems that was in “Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas” by James Patterson:

You are the explosion of carnations
In a dark room.

Or the unexpected scent of pine
Miles from Maine.

Your are a full moon
That gives midnight its meaning.
And the explanation of water
For all living things.

Your are a compass,
a sapphire,
a bookmark.
A rare coin,
a smooth stone,
a blue marble.

Your are an old lore,
a small shell,
a saved silver dollar.
You are a fine quartz,
a feathered quill,
and a fob from a favorite watch.

Your are a valentine
tattered and loved and reread a hundred
times.

Your are a medal found in the drawer
Of a once sung hero.
You are honey
and cinnamon
and West Indies spices,
lost from the boat
that was one Marco Polo’s.

Your are a pressed rose,
a pearl ring,
and a red perfume bottle found near the
Nile.

You are an old soul from an ancient place,
a thousand years, and centuries and
millenniums ago.
And you have traveled all this
way
just so I could love you.
I do.

from NICE to UGLY

Yesterday was rainy, dark and gloomy. believe it or not; that's just my kind of day. it helps me think and feel at ease. yes, the loud lightning and thunderous sounds help me feel relaxed. and today it's sunny and warm...not so nice...actually its ugly. i want it to be 65 degrees and rainy, cloudy and gloomy like yesterday...

bOOk Favs

these are just some, not in specific order...

*Twilight Saga (Stephanie Meyer)
*Uglies, Pretties, Specials (Scott Westerfeld)
*Blue Bloods, Masquerade(Melissa DeLaCruz)
*The Giver (Lois Lowry)
*Tweak (Nic Sheff)
*Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas (James Patterson)

Looking foward to reading:

*Extras (continual) by Scott Westerfeld ... awesome ass books!
*Revelations (continual) by Melissa DeLaCruz
*Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
*Gone but Not Forgotten by Phillip Margolin

First One

My very first bloging post =) I want to give a brief list of my FAVORITE and inspiring books... this might take some time :D

But first one of my favorite quotes

"Words are mere sound and smoke, dimming the heavenly light."

Faust-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe