missing my blog =(

I have not forgotten about my blog =) i've just been insanely busy. I have an account with inkpop and i have been reading the most amazing stories as well as posted two short stories myself. but today i needed my blog. so here is what i am going through/feeling right now....

The sunset isn’t always the way one might describe. All the beautiful colors I have witnessed, sometimes seemingly more exquisite than anything else I have ever seen in my entire life. Upon gazing at something so miraculous I can never hold back in thanking Someone other than Mother Nature. I’m not religious in any way although I still believe in God. And when I gape through the window as I drive over a bridge, as the water beneath sparkles and glitters with the sun’s ray upon its rippling movement I smile and thank God.
I begin to pray and wish that one day I can travel to the country, or a forest where I can breathe fresh mountain air, trees, flowers and the clear river waters. I pray that I could one day stay in a warm, safe cabin and have the opportunity to gawk silently upon the perfect nature that surrounds our existence. A life in the city is lame. It doesn’t fulfill me; it never will complete me the way a sunset does. Or the way staring at the eye melting sunrise across my windowpane does.
I wish I owned a laptop so badly. Yes, I am insane for not owning one already! But with my mortgage, car, insurance, electricity, gas, pets, and everything else, God! I don’t even go shopping anymore! But I wish I did own one so I could drive to my nearest forest preserve and lay a towel to sit over and just write as I am doing now.
Where am I now? I am at my college’s library, typing away. Nope, no homework today. I got my headphones and blasting Slipknot-Snuff in my already bleeding ears. I turned off my cell and closed my eyes. I am entering The Kqas-bagh: my little personal world—my mental lair. A world I created in my mind that exists only there. I’m there now, alone. Typing away my anguish and frustration. In The Kqas-bagh, it is near sundown and warm. Not freezing like it is now in Chicago. No, here it is warm, not hot, just pleasantly warm. And I’m sitting in the most comfortable lounge chair that there exists in the universe, with my laptop comfortably settled in a small unmoving desk. My lounge chair and desk are on top of a garden-like roof. With nothing but heavenly smells. To my right I have my munchies and a glass of homemade lemonade. No one is knocking on my door, or even worried about me. Nothing else exists but this sunset. And I definitely DO NOT need to use the washroom.
The light blue, almost purple sky is gleaming toward the east. And toward the west, the blues are almost gone—hidden underneath a layer of a bright pink and orange. Melting together so perfectly that it’s making my eyes tear. And unlike any other sunset; this one is going to last more than it should, so that my mind can slowly graze upon it.
The Kqas-bagh…always godly, always perfectly serene and heavenly. Always there and always comforting.