So, I officially hate Mondays. I don’t loathe them (I’ve reserved that specific odium emotion for Wednesdays). I came home from work completely drained. I thought the weekend was supposed to rewire us, you know? I guess not.
I have this irritating dire pain in my lower back due to herniated disks and I’ve been relief-free from it for about two weeks. So today…I just cannot take it anymore! I took one of my (prescribed) medications along with another one for which I reserve for my chronic pain-filled moments. It’s been a few hours and I’m still in pain but it’s a lot better. I’m ready to hit the sack and it’s only 7-ish! I don’t even have any kids to add on to the pressure of life.
I Googled ‘yoga classes’ since it’s been of interest to me that I take on some sort of physical, mental and spiritual activity to soothe my body, soul and mind. I also have a project to redecorate my spare bedroom. I hope these things keep me occupied enough to take my mind off of the stress of having to endure a job which strains my self esteem and body.
I’m glad I’m working again and boy does it feel great to have money to pay bills but it’s also a huge reminder of how much my middle-class economic state sucks! You know something? I think a new class should be installed into the division of our society. Here I am; an unmarried female with no children to support (although not married I do have a significant other). I own a condo, 1 car (both my girlfriend and I use), plenty of bills to keep my credit score down near hellish existence and I am a proud ‘pet parent’ (yes, I’ve been dying to use that phrase LoL). I strive to be a published writer and to one day have children.
Life sucks, if you didn’t know it already. We have dreams which must be met with bloody knees from crawling to it. Painful yet true. Every day I stare up into the sky and remind myself that a higher force which I call God is hoping I make it. He’s got my back. But it’s so hard to stay focused when so many negative feelings and happenings take place. I hate my job! But I have to work.
So while I reminisce on childhood play and innocence and how, we as children, never expected to suffer so much for our goals, I also look to the future with a weary smile. I have two lists of ‘dreams or aspirations’.
Number 3 on my ‘reachable goals list’ states that I one day would like to own and manage my own small business where I AM THE BOSS. While number 1 on my ‘dare to dream’ list says I want to get my book successfully published.
Adult life abruptly opens the lids of those who believe dreams can be accomplished pain-free. But the reality of it all is that nothing falls on your lap. Let’s be hypothetical of course since there are those ‘special cases’ of those born into the life where everything indeed is handed to them.
Opinions anyone? Does adult life suck when you see it through the eyes of your ten-year-old-self’s dreams with your adult-like brain?
I know mine does!
Love, Sapphire Blue
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